Oh, Hi. 8 weeks later. Since starting night classes twice per week and Christmas craziness my blog time has been eaten up by other things, understandably so. Unless you all were wanting to hear about negative amortization and/or contract law, I haven't had much margin in my brain to think about much else. I did get a little bit of time to reflect on this past year over Christmas break and I wanted to outwardly process my thoughts with you. There are a good bit of take-aways from 2017, but I really just want to share ONE thing that I learned, and am still VERY actively learning.
I believe that INTENTION IS IMPERATIVE if you want to make progress. Period. Things don't "just happen" in your life that contribute to growth and change. The amount of challenge you feel will directly impact the amount of change that takes place. This could potentially not ring true to you, but I guarantee you that anyone that truly cares about growth and realizes their need for it, this one hundred percent applies to. Isn't that just the worst? Oh how I wish life was always convenient, always simple and easily navigated, always effortless. Something like coasting into the shore of "who I am meant to be" island after mindlessly coasting up and down the 6 foot ocean waves. LIFE IS SO HARD and if growth matters to you, you have to come to terms with the work it will take to get where you want to be. It takes re-thinking things, spending extra energy investing in weak places, taking courage laced risks in the areas of your life that are inhabited by paralyzing fear. Sorry for the intensity, it's just really personal right now.
I spent a LOT of 2017 wallowing in depression and throwing pity parties like a cracked out rager. I took on a victimized mentality in a lot of ways which created a strange sense of entitlement to exempt myself of responsibility over my inner world. This not only affected me, it affected my marriage and how I parent my children. To clarify, in no way do I want to come across that I am disregarding the things I have been through and how hard it has been to journey through it all, I have endured a whole lot of crazy, but when do you KNOW you're done grieving it? When does the grace for our sorrows and pain turn into motivation for forward movement? I actually don't have a specific answer for you. I think it becomes clear to each person in different ways, it's kind of a "when you know, you know" sort of thing. My point I am trying to make is, life is not an escalator. Life is not one of those super cool moving walkways at the airport to get you between terminals. You have to take actually steps in the direction you are wanting to go in order to get there. It can feel super overwhelming and impossible sometimes, like you're walking through a waist deep snow storm, but movement is what matters most. We have to remember that when the resistance hits.
So, yep. Just a few thoughts on what I am working through mentally in expectation of this new year. I am in the thick of this life lesson, making daily choices that will either move me forward or keep me stationary. What are your daily choices looking like these days? Any goals in place for 2018? I'd love to share in this journey! Having a blog is a wonderful outlet for me, but I also desire to connect with people through it as well. Doing this life stuff alone is so boring and 98.3% impossible. I made up that statistic -but just roll with my point. Open up. Be vulnerable. Journey together. Share hopes, dreams and goals! Be intentional with your life and your choices because your movement, big or small, matters.